I'm not sure what's going on right now. I was doing okay and since Friday have just had an awful time breathing. I'm on 150 mg of Toprol XL. I take one 50 mg pill at breakfast, lunch and supper. I'm on Adivan to help me rest and sleep at nights through the low heart rate. However, somehow I STILL keep waking up around 4am or a little earlier just wide awake. Its incredibly frustrating right now, but I try hard to use those times to be productive and pray. I have many conversations with God and through all this, I'm still convinced He is amazing beyond anything we can imagine and His love for us is unfathomable.
Tomorrow was supposed to be my appointment with my EP doctor. It was one I've waited as patiently as I possibly know how to. However, as I've been in bed this weekend, I've been wondering about the pectus excavatum theory I have. I think I'm on to something. :) My chest does cave in, not severely, but it is quite noticeably caved in and my ribs protrude further making it look like my 'funnel' is deeper. Without gory details, my chest looks bony and anorexic-like, although, I DO eat plenty and MANY times through my day!!! The weird thing is that through all the tests I've been having I haven't specifically asked the doctors to look at my chest deformity. The nurses and techs have hooked me up to all the tests I've done and the doctors have just listened to my heart over my shirt. So. . . I'm wondering about calling and asking my doctor if he thinks that I should have another CT to compare it to the one 3 years ago that first diagnosed my pectus excavatum. My hunch is that its gotten worse, but it would be nice to prove that hunch incorrect. The reason that I wonder about it is that the doctors aren't 100% entirely positive that I have SVT, but they say that most all signs are pointing to that, except for the fact that I have it for LONG amounts of time. Usually someone doesn't go an entire day or week with SVT. Maybe a few minutes or hours, but it usually subsides before long. That's why I'm on such HIGH doses of the medicine right now to control my heart.
I have been taking note that I feel incredibly dizzy/lightheaded/weak when I'm upright. It doesn't matter if I'm just sitting down, but especially if I'm up and moving around. And, for the first time in a few weeks, I'm actually having a very difficult time breathing, even on all the Toprol that I'm taking (which was helping that area tremendously). My heart feels (and looks) like its going to jump out of my chest! The only thing that I've found through this whole time that makes me feel better is to lie on my back or on my left side! My theory is that if my chest/sternum is pressing on my heart it would only feel better when I don't have that pressure which is when I lie down. Why am I just now putting this together???? Part of me wants it to be this so I don't have to worry about something being wrong with my heart. But then part of me hopes that it is indeed SVT since I'm so close to meeting with that doctor and getting it fixed.
I'm going to call tomorrow to see what my doctor thinks and take his opinion regardless (although I do hope he listens to me thoroughly). Shawn said, "don't you think we bug them too much?" And we do love our doctor, his nurses, and receptionist. They are wonderful and soooo kind. But, I have to look out for myself. If they don't hear from me, they're going to assume I'm feeling better and that's not the case. I can't just keep going like this and I refuse to keep feeling like this. I know something can be done to make me have my life back. I just need to figure out what it is. . . . and preferrably SOON!!!! :)
I'm going to TRY to teach tomorrow. I tried to manage on Friday, but my weakness got the best of me and I was incredibly exhausted. I'm praying that I can breathe better tomorrow and that I can make it through the day teaching.
Now, enough about me. . . as that gets old. Here are some pictures from my phone from last week. Malachi and his alligator (or crocodile):
We tell him to "get" the crocodile and he throws it on the floor and tackles it just like Steve Irwin used to! :) It's hilarious.
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