11 years ago, we were not even aware of each other and yet today, we have shown how truly meant for each other we were. We've been through some amazing times together as well as some very difficult times together. No matter how strong we are together, however, we would never make it anywhere in our relationship if it were not for a focus on the One the brought and keeps us together. God truly gets all the glory and honor for the work He has done. . . and we haven't made it easy on Him either, but I think He knew what he was doing when he brought us together.
I'll be honest and tell you we are really great together, but we are also normal and have been through many challenges in our marriage. It has gone through its ups and downs, but thankfully we have beat the odds! :) We have dealt with many deaths, illnesses, and financial issues. Honestly, any one of those could have rocked a marriage apart had it not been firmly grounded in our faith in the Lord. Shawn lost his job in May, and while it was not completely unexpected, we had to maintain that it was not the worst of days. I can handle losing a job, losing a best friend, losing a loved one, or dealing with immense stress, all of which we have had to do in the past few years, but I'm not sure I could deal as well with losing one of the loves of my life.
Its hard to find recent pictures of the two of us together. That makes me realize we have some work to do creating memories for when we have our 50th wedding anniversary! :) haha. Most of our pictures involve usually one of us with the kids but sometimes both of us with our babies. We have certainly grown together as parents and spouses with our three boys. God has taught us so much about faith and fellowship in His name as we parent through the trying times!
When we got engaged, it was very rocky at the start. While most everyone was so excited and happy for us, we had a few naysayers and protagonists in our love story. People who might have hoped so deeply for our love to fade or reality to split us apart. I wish they could see us now. I wish they could also know a love so grand as what God gives us for each other.
We decided to write our own vows for our wedding. Well, maybe I decided that and Shawn agreed. We talked about the traditional vows and the "obey" part and it just didn't fit what we believed. My vows were MUCH more long-winded than Shawn's, which if you know us, you would know how fitting that is.
My vows to Shawn, made public and before God on August 10th, 2002: "Shawn Lee Chance, I promise to truly love you with kindness, faithfulness, and respect, through every circumstance that our life together may bring. I will daily devote myself to support, encourage, comfort, and defend you, as together we face the coming moments of sorrow and joy, sickness and health, poverty and wealth. I promise that no matter what may come, I will remain devoted to you for as long as we both shall live. It is my wish that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit guide us and bless us each day from this moment forward. May we be united in mind, thought, and purpose before Christ." (no, I did not memorize it)
Shawn's vows to me on our wedding day: "Shauna Renee Everett, I promise to love, honor and cherish you as long as we both shall live. Through the good times and the bad, through sickness and in health, for richer and poorer. I will always love you and be there for you. May Christ honor us throughout our lives together." (I told you mine was much more long-winded!)
Our world has been rocked. It has been shattered. We have hit bottom several times. It hasn't been easy having the trials that we have been through. However, as history repeats itself, we overcome our battles and trials and become stronger as individuals and as a couple.
As you can see, we have both changed, some for better and some for worse. We did not know 9 years ago that when we made those vows how quickly we would deal with illness or change. We also did not know how soon we would become parents and deal with stress, poverty, and daily struggles that parenting can bring. I have to brag and say I could not have chosen a better partner to become the father of my children. However, the bragging rights are not mine. I prayed for God to prepare my husband and he led me to Shawn. We truly believe God destined us to be together.
When we have our spats or arguements, it is some of the lonliest times as a stubborn wife. Shawn is my confidant and best friend. He's the one I want to talk to about my bad days and share my successes with.
We both know and believe we are "lucky." Shawn is an amazing husband and father. He surpasses expectations and is amazing.
Our wedding was such a memorable day. There were no jitters, scares, or second guesses. I don't know how to have empathy for others that go through last minute nerves before the 'big day.' Shawn and I never had that. We were so ready to 'be married.'
While this post is sappy enough, I just want to empahsize that things are not always as they seem. Life is not ever as you think it should be. And the grass is not always greener on another side. My illness has made me weary. It has sucked the life and the energy from me and made it difficult for me to be a good wife and mother. This is hard for me as I had so much promised to Shawn that I cannot fulfill. We are trying to get through this rough patch. I am trying to find hope, strength, and energy to love him like I used to- be there for him, do more thoughtful things for him, embrace him for what God made him to be. But right now, I fail at that and I can honestly admit that short-coming. Shawn has been an amazing partner, steadfast in his love and devotion to me. He is patient and caring. I love him very much and so am working hard to overcome this illness for the sake of my family. Through our faith, all things are possible, so I do ask that you continue to pray for us all. Thank you!
