Blessings and Answered Prayers

I have to admit that this week has been the most wonderful week that we've been in Hays. . . .I think. I ended last weekend with a pretty pouty attitude and was frustrated about the lack of "friends" I felt that I'd made here. I cried almost every evening in frustration of so many things. I knew it would be difficult moving to a new area and leaving the close, sisterly friendships I had. Also, my family is so far away now so I lack the support of them as well except for emotionally on the phone. Shawn and I knew that moving out here would have challenges and we are strong enough together to build on our relationship and rely on each other for things we might have relied on others for in the past. One thing I'd been missing immensely is girl time- just uninterrupted, girl chat.

As I was lamenting to my friend in OK (Daisie), she texted me a link to a MOMS club here in Hays. I said, "Seriously, I have looked EVERYWHERE literally for information about play groups, etc. and haven't got hooked up with anything!" She googled it and found it! So, I emailed, attended and was so excited to meet other moms with kids just as crazy as mine- and some cute little girls and that I can "ooo and awe" over. I'm excited to get to be active in the group and make some good friends.

A couple days later, I was invited to a small group study from a church member. She explained that she'd raised 3 boys and was such a relief just talking to her. I knew she would soon be the lifeline of support I'd need when I am going crazy wondering how people survive having 3 very active boys. Even if she hadn't have had 3 boys, she was such a kind, Christian spirit that made me feel like, "it's going to be ok." It was almost exactly God speaking to me. I tear up just thinking about the way God has placed people in our lives.

Later in the week, I went to a get together with some of the nurse's at the hospital and I met some great gals there as well. It was amazing how all of a sudden God put these opportunities in my life. And, as Daisie knows, Satan really tried to keep me from attending a few of the events with my health. I just have so little energy and am not a real "out of the box- go meet new people" type of person. So, on top of feeling crummy, I was forcing myself to be uncomfortable and make friends.

In the meantime, Malachi has now become an official volunteer at the museum. He gets so excited to help with the animals. Right now, he has been helping hold the animals (snakes, rat, spider, etc.) and feed the breeding mice. I know God has to have a sense of humor with this as I am not at all bothered by any of this stuff. I even started to think, what will happen when Malachi grows out of the "icky" phase, but looking back through pictures, he has been catching snakes, worms, toads, insects, etc. since he could crawl! No joke!!!! I hope he can continue to have a passion for loving God's creations and educating others about them.

Here is Malachi safely holding his pretend rattlesnake in a tube so it can't bite while we pet it.

This was Malachi feeding his snake a lizard at our table. (a rare occurance to let snakes on the table); On a hilarious side note, my brother saw these two pictures (with Ariel and Malachi in the same position) right next to each other on his FaceBook newsfeed. :)

 

Last Sunday, December 2nd, we saw this beautiful bull snake a little south from our church. It is RARE and not normal for a snake sighting in December here in KS. We just pray that he safely made it back underground before this freezing cold weather hit.

Here is Malachi with "Buddy" the rat snake at the museum. Buddy is so nice and he loves letting Malachi hold him.

I tried to take a picture of the two of us but my face is so puffy from the IV fluid. Still- I want my boys to have me in some of the pictures with them! As much as they drive me nuts and drive me to cry (a LOT lately), I love them to death and wouldn't change having any of them for the world. I also am thankful that I am the one to struggle with the health battles rather than for them to. It is one comfort I have in this daily struggle.

Yesterday and today I have been struggling with sinusy "stuff". I'm not sure if its a cold, the flu, or a beginning of a sinus infection. After crying for a few nights last week - like heavily sobbing- I am wondering if this is just from that. However, my heart is fighting like crazy and I've been fighting the aches and pains. I can't ever tell if I have fevers because of how my body temperature never regulates. I have one sweaty hand and the other will be ice cold. It's just been a lot more intense the last couple of days and I know that if I don't soon kick it that they might not pre-admit me on Friday for the procedure on Monday. I lack a healthy immune system- even after several years teaching, but now my body will sometimes even fight the food that I eat. So, I ask for healing prayers so I can face the next battle in this stupid syndrome.

I will get the pacemaker on Monday the 17th and I can't tell you how excited I am to feel better. Satan quietly whispers, you might not feel better, you will still have other dehabilitating symptoms, it might not help you at all or even as much as you think. HOWEVER, I serve a God that is a HEALER, a COMFORTER, a TRIUMPHANT and COMPASSIONATE God and I know that my faithful prayers are for complete healing every day that I wake up, whether this surgery is a success or not, I have faith that God will heal me in HIS time. Until then, I will remain faithful and search for how to serve him in the form that I am.

My Story

I am not sure how this will work or how it uploaded, but YouTube was having a bit of an issue. Many of my POTsie friends have made videos of "their story" or some of them even have their own YouTube channel. I thought- I need to tell my story. I'm full of words, as you can tell from this blog. :) This video is LONG (if it works), and its about as sporadic as my brain is functioning these days. Today was a few steps back, but I'll regain that ground eventually. . . someday.

Please let me know what you think.

Fun Times with Brienna

Brienna has finally warmed up to me and she will play and be happy as long as mama is not in sight. We had some fun times Saturday. My cousin's wife had a baby shower that we went to and since Jarin was helping with it, I watched Brienna.

We had a few times that we had to walk outside and pick "flowers."


Later that evening, at Grandma Pams's house, the boys were a little skeptical about Brienna playing with them. It had been the 5 boys for so long (Logan wasn't out there) that having a girl play with them was a little different.

They watched for a little bit and waited for her to whine or complain but she shared graciously and was very kind.



Although she may have wanted to, she didn't even throw the rocks!!! :)

Malachi found Grandma's horsie for her to play with and she really enjoyed it!

Tarin was a very patient listener as Brienna told him about her wild rides.

She's growing up soooo darn fast and reminds me of my sister so much.

She's got the most fun expressions and is starting to have a more friendly personality.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I have some more pictures from the boys fishing with their Grandma Brenda. Also, Friday we started to make some MAJOR decisions that could affect our family life within the next few months. We were talking with several trustworthy friends and they all seemed to have the same message, "Why do you try to be superhuman?" My response was to be flabbergasted at first, but really, I don't think I try to do it all. . . . I try to do what others do. . . but I have such limitations. I am still having a very difficult time accepting that I CANNOT do the things I used to do- work full-time, be a mom full-time, cook a lot, enjoy cooking, and especially exercising/running. I am struggling with letting some of it go and trying to discern God's will for me as I walk into the future, not knowing what will be there for me. Please continue to pray for my family and myself.

Sledding

Malachi got a lot of cows for Christmas! He plays with each one of them.

Grandma's Christmas tree before all the gifts got scattered around it.


Christmas day provided beautiful weather. While we were a little bummed about Shawn having to work, the boys and I slept in, had breakfast together and rushed up to my parents for the day. I knew that if they were out on the farm they'd be out of my hair and some peace and quiet was EXACTLY what I'd been dreaming of after the hairy week previous. While I did enjoy a little bit of peace and quiet, I also have a hard time knowing that memories are being made and I don't have my camera capturing it all. My baby brother likes to buy some fun toys. He claims that women are expensive and not worth all the garbage, so he enjoys the single life and exotic vacations that he gets to experience. He also gets some really fun toys to play with. All the guys got their turn to drive, even Mr. Zachary! :)

All 3 boys (Thumbs up meant they were doing ok!)

with Brendan:

with Jarin:

with Brian:

I love the difference between Malachi's expression and Jarin's! :)

My 3 ornery rascals:


The boys had such a blast sledding. Also my siblings MADE me experience the sledding as well. I have to admit, it was a lot of humility before I really could get down on the soaken blanket and let my hair down for some fun. I haven't felt so good for so long that my Christmas's have never been this exciting or memorable. I love roller coasters and exhilirating rides, but haven't gotten to experience much of that with my heart the way it is. I want to be more present in my pictures with my kids too. So, I hopped on the sled and away we rode. I got off very shakily, thankfully not thrown off. It was great. . .but it really made me miss Shawn. He has such a fun time on the farm and would have loved to drive or ride that day.










The boys were tackling Brendan.




Zach drove Brady and Brian through a mud spot. YUCK!

Brienna's 1st Birthday

Brienna celebrated her 1st birthday a few weekends ago. It was a fortunate time since the K-State game was away and our family could travel up to KC to see them. Her whole life has been themed around Eric Carle. I am sure she has NO clue who the fantastic illustrator is, but nevertheless, she has adorable decorations in her bedroom and for her 1st birthday party. My brother decorated for the party, including the cake.


I had to get my shot with the birthday girl:

She is very attached to her mommy and enjoys having Jarin hold her.


Jarin dressed her in a cute outfit.

The balloons behind are supposed to be in the shape of a number 1.


Brienna sometimes cries when she isn't next to mommy. Brady just so happened to be the culprit. It was adorable though.

Grandma Pam is ok to hold her too.

We took a lot of outside pictures before the chill really started to set in for the evening.


Here are a few of the grandkids. We're just missing Treya.

Today, the boys stayed home sick. It was utterly exhausting and such a draining day. Malachi woke up at 2am puking. I got him all cleaned up and was sick myself (which is normal) and tried to lay back down to get him back to sleep. He did finally fall back asleep around 4-5ish, just in time for our alarms to go off. Logan came upstairs and said he had a terrible dream that he was throwing up. I wondered if he was making that up since he might have heard all the commotion during the night with Malachi. I told him to go get dressed for school. Well, he came up a short time later and said, "I guess it wasn't a dream. It's all over my bedroom!" :( Zachary had gone to bed not feeling real well, but he's starting to try to see if he can get out of school, so I didn't give it much thought. I decided to let him sleep in and keep them home to let the "bug" pass. All the grandkids at grandmas last weekend had a great time, but they also shared germs that they aren't all used to, so its always around this time that my kids catch sometime. Ugh!