Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day! We remember the many many people that have made our country what it is today and are so thankful for the sacrifices. We thank the soldiers, and also their families. We remember the change makers in our country for they helped to make us thinkers, believers, and appreciative of the freedom we so often take for granted.



Shawn got called into work last night at about midnight and he's been on the phone on and off all night. Finally, he went in this morning and will be home at lunch time. The boys are on cue with their fighting and spats.

I'm officially NOT wearing a heart monitor for now because with the past few days, I've decided I'd rather not even know what my heart rate is. I'm still working on figuring out what all this faith healing is about. Its by the Copelands Ministries. They're very famous, which makes me just a little apprehensive. However from what all I've read through the Bible, the more I learn, the more questions I seem to have. I guess their basis is that sickness=sin because Christ died for our sins and sickness and to deny that and "remain" sick means that we are not truly accepting the salvation that Christ offered. This takes me a little to digest. I believe in miracles and things happening for a reason, but its very hard for me to believe that if I would just have more faith that my sickness would be gone. It takes so much strength some days to not be angry at God, let alone have faith that He's going to rescue me. So, any advice or suggestions or devotional books you'd like to lend me, I'm asking for anything right now! :)

Have a fabulous Memorial Day! :)

An Awesome Saturday

Thank you so much for the comments you left for Zachary. He's a little bit of a slow typer/pecker, but he does like the attention he's been getting from writing. He said, "I didn't know I still liked to write!" So, thanks sooooo much for keeping him going. He needs some motivation and good attention.

This morning, we headed to the Wakefield garage sales. We sure didn't need anything and we gave the boys their allotment of money for the morning. It was a very beautiful morning and busy at almost all the garage sales. We found some great bargains!!!! Maybe Zach will write about them later. I've been letting him borrow my good camera so he can start putting pictures with his blog, since, well, I'm slacking a bit there! :)

Today, I am feeling wonderful! Yesterday, it was a different story. I think yesterday was quite possibly one of the worst days I've had with the chest pain as I was just plain sick. I went out to the garage to get some things organized and just in the little time in the heat, I got extremely overheated and my heart rate rocketed up to around 200bpm. My chest pain was so bad yesterday from having hiccups anyway (because the pectus somehow hurts that) and so I was SOOOO hungry and tried to eat, but it all came right back up and I was even sicker than before. It was not at all fun and I'm so thankful to have my strength back today.

I've been reading a lot about faith healing and its certainly been on my mind. I have so many questions about it and am very confused about some of it, so if you know anything or have any advice about it, please let me know. Most of it seems really "out there" which is what I guess being a Christian is sometimes, but still. . . . I'm just not sure.

Zach's Field Trip to Rolling Hill Zoo

We rode on the bus. You should of been there. Next Mrs.Pfizenmaier had to pay. Well it was an amazing sight. Our journey began. We started to the reptiles. We saw three tortoises, a lot of poisonous frogs, lizards, a water heater, and some pythons. What really a rhino peed on me it really happened. In the giraffes property it stinted there even was a giant ant eater. WIDE!!!We even got to look at an ape and orangutan one of them stared at me. Then we ate our sack lunches. We got back on the bus and went back to school.

This summer I'm going to swim in the swimming pool and try to go underwater with my head underwater.

By: ZCC

So Close to Summer

I'm so close to summer, I can almost feel it. I was feeling a little bit better today although my heart rate didn't exactly compare. Malachi is on the road to recovery and we got his blood test results- FABULOUS!!!! Oh, my gosh, I can't tell you the scare we have had, but are truly blessed with healthy children. Sometimes we take the little blessing for granted. Here he is this past weekend, playing peek-a-boo.


My best friend Amanda (I really don't have best friends- they're all my best friends) that was my maid of honor 8 years ago in my wedding. We lived together, things fell apart needless to say. I was a crummy, stubborn friend, and we went our separate ways. However, we are related to the same people, so I got to see her at my cousin's graduation party. I'm so glad to have met her. She is a FABULOUS, TERRIFIC person and I wish I lived closer so I could enjoy more time with her.

My cousin Anna (which Malachi says very well now):

Logan had been playing in the chalk. Can you tell?????

My beautiful, favorite oldest boy.

My favorite, curly-haired baby:

And, my favorite of all time of Logan's.

This next weekend we'll celebrate my brother Brady's college graduation with a degree in landscape design. His final project (or just hobby) is in our front landscaping. I do invite you over to witness the beauty. Just not inside, because that's where the disaster is right now.

My baby sister decided on the best ever theme for her nursery. I'm so excited for it. Eric Carle!!!!! So, if you have any great Eric Carle ideas or crafy sorta things (that I could actually do or buy) give me a holler. I love being a favorite auntie. I'm about 90% sure it'll be a girl, although they aren't finding out yet. I was 99% sure Malachi was a girl and had everyone in my family fooled thinking he was a girl, and that was certainly a wonderful surprise/shock. So, my guessing skills are a little "off" and another boy to add to the 5 grandsons would be a blessing as well. I'm not sure what the boys would do with a grandbaby girl to play with. Time will tell.

Pets I Want

I would like a parrot because they are soooo beautiful.
I would like a under water crab because I like the sound they make.
I would like a turtle because I like their hard shell.
I would like a golden lab I think my mom would let me.
I would like a cat because it purs purs purs.
I would like a red cardenal because it is red.

By:ZCC

Guest Blogger!!!! And- 2 Lost Teeth

My boys decided to lose their teeth the very same day and wouldn't you know it- it was a day the tooth fairy was off! But, thankfully, she showed up today to reward them. Schhhhhhewwwwww!




Malachi was very sick and had some tests ran today. We're praying for good results. I bought him these glasses out of the dollar bins at Target while we were waiting on his medicine to get ready.





And. . . . . Finally. . . . . I will start having a guest blogger, writer's-block permitting. Zachary has shown interest in taking over for me some days when I feel a little less than post-worthy! :) So, I'm off to let him have his very first post. Watch for it later tonight and please show him some love with the comments to keep him motivated.

Happy Pentecost

Happy Pentecost from our family to yours. (In case you're wondering, we wear red on Pentecost.) We went home for church today so my parents could help with the boys. Well, actually, mom took Logan and Malachi and Shawn and Zachary helped my dad get stuff done. I came home about 2pm and slept like a rock until 6:30pm when they called to tell me they were on their way home. It was refreshing. Somehow the medicines haven't been working quite as well, but I don't want to even start thinking about tweaking them. My heart rate has been in the 130-150s most of the day, which again is just soooo exhausting, and my blood pressure is incredibly low again- 82/73. Last night I had 2 IV bags, which I fell asleep during (I was THAT tired!) and it didn't seem to help, so I am wondering if we might just discontinue those as well. We're all trying to adjust to the "new" normal.

Today, we gave Logan a package of band-aids for his tool-box. Malachi had some stumbles, so Logan patched him up and then exclaimed, "I am the tool safety artist!"

We have 4 days of school this week and then SUMMER VACATION!!!!!! I've already started a couple college classes, so wish me much luck. I figured I needed to get going on my masters before my time is up for all the classes to count. And, if I'm laying in bed much, I might as well be reading for a reason. Thankfully, we budgeted for the boys to go to daycare a little bit throughout the summer so I can take it a bit easier and have some days to just study and get my homework done.

Full Day

We had a full day today, celebrating cousins' graduations, visiting friends and reminscing about old times where we used to live in Emporia. It was a fabulous time and great to get together with family and friends. Tomorrow is a recouperating day so I can be rested up for the final week of school. Today was great, but exhausting. I'm learning to push through the exhaustion. God will heal me. I don't wonder anymore, I know.

An "Off" Day

We are getting a little makeover in our front landscaping. Its kinda one of the luxuries of housing a poor landscape design graduate! :) He knows how to work the plants though, and I'm loving it so far. We have many more plans.

After reading this blog we decided that I'd give exercise a try, especially with a recumbent bike. So, Shawn surprised me with one that I'd been looking at. I was actually getting my IV this night, while I was trying it out. Malachi likes to cuddle with me. He skinned his poor little nose.

And, finally, you might wonder about my parenting skills, or lack thereof should you have seen my children today.

Just as an explanation (as if I really need one????)- Logan asked if he could PLEASE have pajama day. Some days, you just don't fight those battles, especially when deep down, you secretly wish every day was a universal pajama day. And, Zachary is having spirit week at his school so today was backwards day. Tomorrow is his pajama day. My guess is Logan will like another pajama day once he sees how Zach is dressed tomorrow morning.

Just a slight update- I had a doctor appointment yesterday, hopefully a final one for a LONG time! I need to just toughin' up a little and bear it, but sometimes the pain is just awful. I had an unbearable migraine on Sunday. It subsided a bit so I could stand Monday, but I went into the dr with chest pain STILL. Since this has nothing to do with the POTS, but rather the pectus excavatum, we are going to get a chest x-ray to get sent to the dr in St. Louis (my appt with him is on the 22nd of June) and then I will be going to see a doctor to see about injections around my sternum to ease the pain. I'm not sure which is worse because that sounds painful, but I know I can't keep going having the chest pain that I do right now.

Ok, off to bed. Tomorrow is 1/2 way through the week and I've almost made it! I just thought I needed to get some pictures on here. I wish I had more time with my boys to be able to write more of their stories and sayings on here. Soon. . . .very soon. . . .my time will come to be healed and be the mom I used to be.

Continued Prayers

Today has been the most difficult day in a very long time. I woke up with a headache that quickly turned in to a migraine. It was one of the most dehibilitating and excruciating days and still kinda is. My head hurt so bad when I was upright that I couldn't even hardly see. Everything was blurry. Shawn was frustrated because the boys were an awful handful and fighting like crazy. It kinda put an answer toward if we wanted to go to the hospital or not. I'm hopefully going to make it through tonight and see how I feel tomorrow when the dr office is open. I went in last week because of extreme ear pain, thinking I had an ear infection, but everything checked out clear, so now I'm wondering if it is something more or if that is contributing to this awful headache.

I'm going to try trudging through the process of getting a letter ready for the Mayo clinic. At this point, I'm getting really apathetic about them being able to help me. Its just frustrating right now. Please continue prayers that I can move further toward healing and that the letter reaches the Mayo clinic to open ears and mindful, compassionate doctors.

Brain Fog Induces Random Thoughts

I can't remember what I've blogged and what I haven't. This fact in itself has been keeping me from blogging lately. Did I mention that I suffer incredibly from brain fog most of the time? Did I mention that my house is a total, complete ridiculous disaster and that I'm not even sure how much of the food in the fridge is outdated now? That is how completely 'fogged' I am. I took my kagillion pills this morning and made the trip to the pharmacy for yet 2 more prescriptions. We're on a first name basis with Susan (our pharamcist). She's the best. As soon as we walked up, Shawn said, "I'm sorry I forgot to call you back last night (about the IV tubing) but I knew we'd be seeing you today." (Not all people can make that comment to their pharmicist!) haha.

I woke up to screaming kids which is wonderful because they know how much I hate sleeping in (where's the sarcasm font?). Shawn thought it'd be a great day to go garage-saling in Wamego since it was a tad bit rainy and would scare off the fair weather shoppers. I figured I'd go along for the ride because what else did I have planned for the day???? The boys and Shawn found a ton of stuff- mainly toys, clothes, books, and of course, a wonderful grill for Shawn. I did mainly sit in the car and had Shawn scout out for teacher stuff or things for my classroom.

We came home and took naps, boring, I know. I can't remember much else of the day because my head is sooo lightheaded right now and just "foggy". Its such a weird feeling to describe. I feel "blonde" or just ditsy or clumsy. This is NOT like me at all! I am a good remember-er! It scares me how far gone my brain is some days. The truth is, its down-right scary to think about how I'm responsbile for so much and possibly not responsible at the same time! I'm off for another IV treatment tonight and then to sleep. Its been a rough day, yet I feel like its been a good day because I've been with my family. Love my family more than words.

Numbers Geek

I have to admit quite openly that I'm a NERD! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Excel. If you put in the correct formulas, it thinks for you and that's what I love. I can see things in graphs, tables, and with data to support my words. Today was a good day at school. I can't say it was the best, but by far, it wasn't awful. I had chest pain and was a little wobbly when walking (not sure why that is) but I made it through the day!!!!!

Upon arriving home though, I desparately needed to lay down for just a little bit. Well, Malachi would have none of that and proceeded to throw a major fit. I hated for him to want me so bad and for me to physically not be able to be there to comfort him. I held him for awhile in the recliner, but that was not restful enough for me and I really needed to lie down. So, I laid in bed, while he screamed beside the bedside, refusing to even come sit by me. So, here is the new stats that I put together that will go in my report for the Mayo clinic.

Summary of Symptoms

Please continue to pray for me- specifically that I can get rid of my brain fog long enough to have coherent thought and word processes to get my petition letter for the Mayo clinic written and sent. I have been putting it off because I just feel so unskilled and not as good at writing and spelling as I used to be and this is something I used to be awesome at, so I'm a little ashamed at how stupid I have become. I also need specific prayers that we can find resources to help Shawn with the boys when we're having evenings such as this one where we just need an extra comforting person for Malachi when he just can't have his mommy. Grandma was out in western KS so that was out of the question. We just need a better back-up plan for these types of situations. I haven't had to ask for help very often, but tonight, I called all my life-lines! :) We desparately need groceries, which is usually a weekend and an exhausting task. Shawn could go by himself, but I do enjoy going to get cooking ideas and to make sure we do have all the ingredients. And, we've usually handled the 3 boys just fine while shopping, but with how I feel, its just too overwhelming and its just something I have to get used to. I have been closer and closer to be passing out and am not wanting to get there.

I feel like I'm rambling, yet have no idea what I just typed. I'm THAT tired! Off to bed for now. Brady's been here to help out after my many SOS texts. For that, I'm truly grateful. Tomorrow, I have a to-do list that is a mile long. I ask that NO ONE stops by our house to see the destruction within from the frat house living. I'm so overwhelmed right now and until I get strength to find where that smell is coming from or where that other dirty shoe got thrown or why there are 3 pairs of underwear all over the front room. . . . .I'd prefer to not have visitors, but actually, if you want to see our REAL life, the one that we don't often hide behind (because we have no choice), come on over.

Thanks for the prayers. I'll stop rambling now. And, I'll work on getting some pictures of the boys for on here. . . . .hmmmmm .. . . .

My Life in a Nutshell

Not that I'm counting or anything since I tend to be a very patient person (joke), but I've struggled with this POTS C$%P for about 6+ months now. But, hey, at this point, who's really keeping track??? I mean, I freak out when I can't get into the EP dr within 2 weeks, and now in hindsight, I think I could have waited much longer now that I know that he didn't help a darn bit. So, here's my life in a nutshell, you know. . . .since I've been mostly bedridden for the past few evenings. I have a wonderful netbook and LIVE in Excel, so take a peek at my symptom chart that I'll be submitting to Mayo. Any ideas, suggestions, offers to trade bodies with me?????

Symptom Calendar

Blood of Christ

Most of you are on Facebook, so you get to see my many Loganisms. Well, after we had communion one Sunday, Logan said, "I sure do love the blood of Christ!"

Well, last night we had some left over grape juice from the Monday inservice that I missed. I brought it home for the boys to have at supper time. Halfway through supper, Logan casually asked, "May I please have a refill on the blood of Christ?" Sometimes his funny moments can be taken so lightly yet with such a deep meaning too!

My baby brother, Rylans stopped by tonight to bring us some pizza for supper. I had a great day of feeling better since increasing my Midodrine and increasing my fluid intake, but am already worn out tonight, so will soon be hitting the sack. I still need to find the strength/time/motivation to get the referral/petition letter prepared for the Mayo clinic. There is SOOOO much I need to get done and it seems like things are scheduling up all over my summer alreay. :(

Zach's Fourth Quarter Learning Celebration

Last week, Zach had his 4th Quarter learning celebration. Usually, they're during lunchtime, so I don't always get to attend. I've made it to a few, which was a nice surprise for him, but it was fun for Shawn to finally get to attend one. Zach read his report about the Amazon rain forest. I am very proud of him. He really is a great kiddo.



Here are the boys (I'm in the background) right before church a few weeks ago:

POTS has been kicking me the past few days. I've been almost bedridden, with the most fatigued/exhausted feelings. I don't know if you've heard about the brain-fog that goes with POTS, but oh my, it is scary. . . .and annoying! I used to be able to remember everyone's birthdays and remember almost EVERYTHING. I remembered to put deodorant on in the morning, every morning of my life, but lately, its all questionable. I'll get to work and wonder, did I clean my ears out after my shower? did I brush my teeth? did I take all the right med? Seriously, it is very scary how scatterbrained I've gotten and it is all very 'normal' I guess from what I've gathered from other POTS sufferers.

I found this blog the other day. It details one woman's battle to overcome POTS without medicines and with exercise. I really would love to get going on runs and brisk walks around town, so her blog is starting to motivate me. I worry about image though because its sooo hard to explain to people how sick I feel when I don't look like it. And, as you read about from her blog, how would it look for me to be "working out" yet not have enough strength to cook supper or take out the trash? But, you know, sometimes I worry too much about what others think. I guess I'm just begging others to understand this, yet I don't completely understand it all myself.

I esecially enjoyed and could relate to these posts: the feeling we have of not being as functional as we'd like to, information about POTS, advice to my support group, and the fact that the Yellow Wiggle (from Disneys "The Wiggles") had this also.

Tonight, I'm heading to bed right now. Shawn's the most amazing husband ever to take care of the house, the boys, the homework, everything. I am going to write a letter to the Mayo clinic to plead my case to try to get in sooner. I can't even remember if I already wrote that on here, but they sent me the paperwork last week giving me my patient ID number and saying that I was on a waiting list, because unfortunately there was such a high demand at this time for their services. They gave me a phone number and address to contact should my symptoms persist or worsen. Shawn said that was their mistake. I am going to do just that. It frustrates me so much to continue to wait and to 'live' like this. I'm too young to be feeling like this and I'm going to advocate for my health as much as I can. There HAS to be something or someone that can help me.

Thanks for the prayers!

K-State Baseball Game

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mommy friends and family we have! My sister gave me some of her pictures from the K-State baseball game yesterday. Brendan and her took Logan, Malachi, and Taige. I guess Malachi took a nap first thing and then laid like a zombie with his eyes wide open for quite awhile after waking. But, at least he was good.

















Today was a rough day, yet even as I type that, I'm wondering if there really are words for it. We got going this morning fairly uneventful, except for the fact that my heart rate was just a tad high. I made it to church, but started getting extremely shaky and weak. The sermon was amazing (more on that later) and it was definitely sending a message from God to my heart. After church, we enjoyed lunch at my parents house to shower my mom with love. She's an amazing mom to both Shawn and I. We couldn't ask for anyone better to call mom.

Things got really hairy though around and after lunch and I decided we needed to leave to go home immediately. My stomach was having an incredibly hard time digesting and I was cramping so hard, and also having temperature issues. I wanted my own bed, and for my kids to be where they had more defined boundaries so I could contain them without them bouncing all over and being chaotic. It created a fuss among my family and as we were leaving I realized that as much as I think my family has been "there" for me, they actually have no idea what I'm going through and they act in such denial about it.

Thank God for Shawn to get some sense knocked into me and calm me down. He understands me and my emotional downs. I hate the fact that it's mother's day and I can't be the mom I want to be. I wish so much that there was a doctor or medicine to cure me and get these physical ailments to disappear.

Please pray! Its the only thing right now that we can do and its the only thing that brings comfort at times.