Special Treasures from Grandma

I don't have any new pictures of my boys since . . . well. . . I don't have my boys. I had a good day with Malachi yesterday. He was a ball of energy, excitement, and well. . . a bit of the temper tantrum, spoiled child terrible 2's! :) He's certainly a strong-willed, determined and persistent little boy. I did great yesterday with him, although I was tired, trying to get my strength back. My mom stopped by last evening and I told her I was alright keeping Malachi from now on. She asked Malachi if he wanted to go to Grandma's and he ran to get his coat and walk to the door! :) I just had to laugh because I felt a tad bit sad that my little one would feel neglected if I didn't keep him or be with him and he certainly didn't miss me a bit! He loves his Grandma Pam. He really enjoys life on the farm too, around the tractors and cows.

Since I don't have any new pictures, these are from our Thanksgiving trip to western KS to visit Grandma Chance. Grandad and her were frequent garage-salers and would pick up lots of "treasures". She had a huge pile of 'stuff' for us to go through to see if we'd like anything. Since there really wasn't anything in there that we absolutely couldn't live without (and nothing we really needed to live with either), I let the boys choose 1 item to take with them.

Malachi found a school bus that used to be a crayon holder. It did get left at Grandma's house, but he sure had fun with it while he was there.


Zachary choose a picture of a coyote. Don't ask me why because he's terrified of coyotes, but nonetheless, he likes his picture:

And, of course, Logan got a rock collection. How perfect is that for him???? In case you missed it, he named them all "wocky" (aka Rocky).





I hope you have had a very enjoyable and productive year 2009 and are looking forward to a healthy, happy new year 2010!

Christmas at Mom & Dad's House

I'm enjoying my Christmas day pictures and memories. I miss my boys SOOO much right now. Actually, Malachi is on his way back to my house to be with me today. I'm so excited to see my little babe. He is a handful, but he brings so much joy to my life, as do my other two boys. I'm also remembering how much "stronger" I felt on Christmas day. It was wonderful, although it was mainly because of resting most of the day, to be able to spend the majority of it with my kids and Shawn. Today, I'm supposed to be taking it as easy as possible, but that is so much easier said than done.

I'm thankful that they found something going on that can start pointing them in the right direction. My heart rate all day Wednesday went from 60 while I was sleeping to sky-rocket immediately to 160+ throughout the day, and then down to 120 or so. Shawn and the dr. both said that when they run patients on the tread mill, its often difficult to get healthy patients to the heart rate of 160. I certainly wasn't running a marathon Wednesday, but it sure felt like it. The dr. said they called his office after the hospital ran the results and were a bit alarmed at how high the heart rate was. Hmmm . . . would have been nice to have had a phone call before Tuesday about it, but I'm not going to complain about minor details. I feel that I'm being well taken care of, or so I hope. I started on a beta-blocker that should lower my blood pressure. Although, I've always had normal to low blood pressure anyway, so it could possibly work against me and make my pressure too low. I'm hoping to get a phone call from cardiology for when they can get me in. Shawn was going to try to pull some strings too since he works with those doctors a lot.

We went out to celebrate Shawn's upcoming birthday last night. I didn't feel the best, but I certainly felt better not having 3 kids to hassle with while we were out to eat. He wanted a game for our Wii from Best Buy, so we searched for it and they were sold out. So, we headed over to Wal-Mart. By this time, just the slow walking around Best Buy and to the van, I was feeling awful, like I would pass out. We made it through Wal-Mart to get his new game, but it definitely did me in. I wasn't speed walking either, but I was feeling miserable and couldn't breathe at all. It took until about midnight last night to finally catch my breath and be able to fall asleep. I really wish I would have had the heart rate monitor yesterday!

Please continue to pray that the doctors will find out what's going on and will find a treatment that works well and helps me to live a normal life, being a good mom for my kids.

Here are our Christmas pictures from my parent's house:

Taige had wild hair like Logan:

5 boys trying to doggy-pile on Travis: (They are ALL about the rough-housing!)

Grandma Pam with Taige & Malachi:

We had SOOOO many gifts. Travis was hidden behind his pile of presents:

Logan got a towel with his name on it. He was so excited when he saw it. He stared at it for a minute and then realized that he could read it and his face just lit up!

Malachi got a tractor with farm animals from Jarin & Brendan. He LOVES it!

Zachary got Bumblebee. We told him that he wasn't clear enough with his directions to Santa. Santa thought he wanted a real insect bumblebee and that wouldn't survive in our cold weather. He told Courtney, "I wasn't specific in my details with Santa." (Can you tell he's learning stuff at school?)

Jarin & Brendan gave all the families photo albums of wedding pictures and other pictures of them with our kids. Logan LOVED it!!!!

Jarin & the 'twins' . . . .(I think this is a premonition or something.) :)

Finally!

Well, we got some news, but not a lot. My echo went well and looked good except for some slight abnormalities. But NO pulmonary hypertension!!! Praise the lord and thank you so much for the prayers. The holter monitor test did show some major abnormalities! My regular heart rate throughout the day Wednesday was 160!!!! It was good until I got out of bed and then it shot right up, which is when I made Shawn feel it because I knew it wasn't good. Normal heart rate should be between 80-100, and usually people jogging hard or running might not get to that high. I wasn't even exercising Wednesday, but resting as much as possible because I was so worn out! I'm very thankful and relieved to finally have some solid proof that something is going on, but I still will be consulting with the cardiologist. They also started me on a beta-blocker medicine that should start helping. Thank you so much for the prayers!!!! It is so comforting.

Still No News

Still haven't heard from the doctor's office, and I'm assuming I won't hear anything until I go back in this afternoon. It is comforting though to not hear anything because then I'm assuming that no news= good news. I remember back to when we had the sonogram of Logan while I was pregnant and they called us after we were home not even a few minutes and requested that we head straight back into the doctor's office. So, from the panic of that event, knowing how serious it was at the time, I'm comforted that whatever I have is NOT as serious or they would be doing something more rapidly. However, I still continue to feel awful and not be able to breathe. This morning I layed in bed until about 8:30, 2 hours after I'd woken up, just because I could breathe normally and wanted to enjoy it. But, as soon as I got up and out of bed and walked to the kitchen, I was again short of breath and struggling to catch my breath. I'm very comforted knowing that people are praying on my behalf and I've also been immersed in scriptures as I rest, which has helped a LOT.

My mom so kindly took Malachi last night. He is a ball of energy and as much as I thought I could keep up with him, it was darn near impossible right now with how I was feeling. I was also trying hard to not 'give up' and ask her to take him. I thought, "come on now, you can handle this. You're his mother!" But, I was incredibly worn out and exhausted by yesterday afternoon. I appreciate my family soooo much! There are just no words for how awesome of friends and family I have and I'm truly grateful for all of them.

Here are some pictures of Christmas at my parents house. It was Bella's (and Suzie's) first Christmas. However, Suzie, being a pet more than a family member, got her Christmas treat, but I didn't get any pictures of it. Bella. . . .well. . . .she is a bit spoiled, which is alright since she's the only "kid" my sister has. Just in the short evening we were there, Bella modeled 3 of her new outfits. My boys are very much in love with their canine cousin.

Here is Bella giving Malachi a kiss:

Bella got a new K-State jersey for Christmas:

Tarin and Malachi are the same size and 6 months apart! :)

And, finally. . . . Mr. Logan's new style .. . . he enjoys sleeping in his new Christmas boots! :)

No News= Good News

I had my ECHO a little while ago. It seemed to go well. The tech really is not allowed to say much, but from what she said, I'm guessing it was good. We are still waiting on a call from the dr. office about results. I have another dr. appt. tomorrow to figure out more. I'm a lot more hopeful that it is NOT pulmonary hypertension, but they haven't actually confirmed it to me yet, so I'm just holding out hope that its not. I'm still REALLY REALLY weak and tired. I needed something from Target, so I tried to really quick run in and get it and try to slowly make it through the Christmas sale section. I made it 1/2 way back through the store before I was just EXHAUSTED. I mean, utterly exhausted and I was yawning like crazy to catch my breath, so I got my item and didn't go through the rest of the store. Its such a bummer to not be able to shop! URGH! I called my mom and asked her if she could take Malachi. I felt like after today, I wasn't strong enough to handle him. He was constantly wanting something- milk, food, toys, books. . . .etc. and I am so worn out. I'm praying they figure something out soon. And. . . I'm also praying extra hard that they confirm that it is NOT pulmonary hypertension. I've never so much wanted a doctor to be wrong.

Christmas Morning Excitement

I swear that kids make Christmas worth the wait. They fill our house with so much excitement! On Christmas morning, I actually woke up at about 7am and was just so anxious for our boys to wake up for Christmas. They all ended waking up at 9:30am! They NEVER sleep that late! I just couldn't wait to see their expressions as they opened their presents and the wait was worth it. They were incredibly excited and filled with awe as they looked at the empty plate they'd left for Santa.

Zachary did get his 2 front teeth for Christmas. They started poking through. He kept getting annoyed with us though if we mentioned them.



Malachi got a school bus. He LOVES to see buses.


He was also excited about the trash truck in this set of cars.

Logan was EXCITED about EVERYTHING! I think if we'd have wrapped a roll of toilet paper, he'd still have had this same expression! :)








Zachary even got excited about getting new underwear! :)


I miss my little boys! I know they're having a bunch of fun out at Aunt Laurie's. I can't wait to hear about their adventures.

Yesterday, I started telling Shawn that I'm starting to rate my days on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best. Yesterday was a good 3 but being around family at our Pacey get together made it better, so I gave it a 4. I had a LOT of trouble breathing and my hands and feet were numb most of the day, making me incredibly shaky and 'off' in my coordination. This morning, so far, I'm giving today a solid 2. I can't hardly feel my fingers to type. I have Malachi here and he's wearing me out so fast and I just cannot keep up with him! Even sitting down in a chair, trying to read a book to him, I'm out of breath and get incredibly light headed. I'm trying so hard to ignore the symptoms and keep pressing on, hoping that maybe they'll go away. Its not worked so far. Last night, I took my Aunt Tiffany's advice and I just told God, "take it! Take my pain and my struggles and help me through this. Give me strength to handle whatever comes my way and please get me through this." I'm really struggling right now with what is my will and what is God's will and what I should accept and what I can do about it. I don't want my faith to falter throughout this struggle because I have a strong belief that God gives us struggles for a reason and He will also give us the strength to get through it. I'm not quite to the point of rejoicing in my struggles though. That will take time! :)

Prayers are appreciated and coveted today as I have my first test. I'm praying beyond anything that the doctor the other day was WRONG. But then again, I am praying that they do find out what is going on.

Christmas Cupcakes

We quickly made Christmas cupcakes for Santa the other night. Thankfully, my boys were very cooperative and we didn't have too much of an issue getting these made in time for them to get an early start on bed-time. I got this idea from Kate's blog. I thought the cupcake idea was adorable and fairly simple for me to do. These pictures did NOT upload in a very good order, but at least you can kinda see how it was for Malachi.

Malachi was the taste tester since he finished his supper first. He's not real fond of getting his hands messy. Don't ask me where he gets that finicky quirk.

He touched it:

And didn't like that, so tried with his mouth again.

He wasn't quite sure about it (I love having taste testers!):

Tomorrow, we have a family get together at my aunts house by Hutchinson. It will be a long trip and I'm praying extra hard for strength and to be able to BREATHE!!!! Aunt Laurie will be there and she kindly offered to take Zachary and Logan for awhile this week. Grandma Pam might get Malachi then. We're not sure of all the plans, just kind of playing it by ear, depending on how well I feel and what we find out. It is so nice to have an amazing family around and also some good children that people actually OFFER to take. I am so very blessed! Please continue to pray for me and my test on Monday. I'm also praying for fast results too, but with this being the holiday season, I'm sure some of the docs might be in Hawaii or whatnot! :)

Zachary's New Smile

All he wanted for Christmas were his two front. . . .

Actually, he got quite annoyed when we kept saying that to him! And, he said, "I did NOT want those for Christmas!!!!" Although we could see them starting to poke through. Oh well. Someday he'll appreciate the fact that he was toothless at Christmas time.

He has become a little addicted to playing www.funbrain.com . I try to limit his computer use and he does have his computer in his room without internet, but he still seems to beg to play funbrain. So, Wednesday afternoon, while we were waiting on calls from doctors, etc and I was resting, I watched him play this and I guess he got an outstanding score. So, he asked me to take his picture with it! :)

We had a VERY wonderful and MERRY Christmas! We did make it up to my parent's house for Christmas and had a relaxing and fun-filled day. I have MANY MANY MANY pictures- as usual so will try to share them over the next week or so. We still have some traveling left to do, depending on how I'm feeling and also some major CLEANING to get done. I'm nervous about the test that I'll have done on Monday. The doctor has suggested he thinks it is a particular thing, which is very serious and I'm nervous that the test on Monday will actually confirm that. Either way, I'm trying very hard to give it up to God right now. I'm tired of feeling like this and need to get something figured out soon. Yesterday, God gave me strength to be out of bed to celebrate Christmas with my boys, and then I reclined in a chair all afternoon, so felt a little better. We had supper at my parents and the opened gifts and that about did me in. My hands fell asleep and were tingly and my feet started to get numb and I felt incredibly light-headed like I would pass out. I could NOT breathe hardly at all. It was exhausting just trying to breathe. So, instead of our traditional late-night Christmas celebrating by enjoying our presents, spending time vegging with the family and eating ourselves silly with chocolates, sweets, homemade goodies, and playing card games, we left early and came home so I could rest. So, prayers would still be greatly appreciated.

Hope you all had a very safe, warm and merry Christmas!